ANGELA KAY "Lucy"

Hurrah!... I've got the part. SHIT!... That mean's.... da da daaaaa.... the boudoir scene.

We'll anyway... here we are. The cast are lovely. The director is enthusiastic.... an absolute bundle of energy... and she's going to need it. Directors always do.

First day of the shoot... absolutely fine... I'm wearing clothes.... we're in a pub...

Second day, bright and early. This is the day I am going to be cavorting in underwear... my cleavage enhanced with external silicon implants... and a complete strangers head, nestled against my naked thigh... feigning cunnilingus!!! I was indeed... petrified!

The crew arrives... the equipment is set up. My hair is in rollers, my face is being made up... I am wearing a dressing gown... now... think sexy think sexy think sexy... you are a sex goddess... We wait... we do a scene that only requires my hands.... the hands have bright red painted talons on them.... the shot shows a sexy knock at the door... outside the shot is me... in a robe and curlers with a half made up face. Sexy.... I AM NOT.

We wait. Why does LIGHTING always take so long. Now we're ready... oh... hang on... no we're not... pizza anyone?... yeah I'm hungry... but how much bigger will a slice of pizza make me look? Nah... I'll be okay. Okay.... NOW we're ready... okay. There are the lights... there is the camera... the monitor.... THE PEOPLE!... You telling me we can send a man to the moon...
but we can't shoot a film remotely... okay... this is okay... you're a professional. Okay...

Directions...."Just lie on the bed"... "legs bent so we can see the top of the boots" ... "right... position the camera lower... we want to see the cleavage... and his head... hmmm... lower"... "Angela can you just plump them up a bit"

(authors note... it's taken me... well a lot of years to accept the size of these babies... even with padding... I don't think they are going to get much bigger)... there is some plumping. There is a deflating of ego.

Directions... "Right... now Steve... can you look up at the camera... face lower... closer to her thigh... can someone move that mirror? I want it in shot? Can we just adjust the light a little?"

LIGHTING!!!... and his head... is STILL... between my legs... waiting for the take... waiting for the take... head between my legs... waiting... waiting...

"Okay we're ready for a take..."

THANK CHRIST!

And so on and so it went. But I have to say... as nervous as I got... I would do it again. You would always do it again, when you are working with good people. And I WAS working with good people. They were professional... supportive... and fun. Your typical FILM FAMILY.

I learnt a lot in this film. I learnt that saucy sexy things on screen... are sooooo not that in filming. Oh you get close... most of the time the director was as close to me as the guy (Steve) between my legs... but you don't get intimate. And you definitely don't get turned on. Hell.... most of the time I was just hoping I wouldn't break wind.... because THAT would have been embarrassing.

And probably more than anything... DID MY ARSE LOOK BIG IN IT!

Lots of Love
Angela